1. Instant Noodles: Yum, dehydrated and salty! Just add water and you have yourself a questionably tasty snack. (It’s not Cup Noodle, Gladio.) This one’s beef flavored.
2. Water Bottle: Still sealed, still full. Aren’t you lucky?
3. Macaroni & Cheese Cup: All the magical flavors of macaroni and cheese in a quick, microwaveable cup.
4. Candy Bar: If your sugar is running a little low, this is the perfect pick me up. This one’s a Milky Way.
5. Golf Cart: Ride in style and with speed. Just a little speed. It’s smaller than the usual golf cart, but be careful not to destroy anything and violate Rule Two. That would be terrible.
6. Water Gun: A Super Soaker 500! You can really have some fun with this thing.
7. Acoustic Guitar: So you can play Wonderwall over and over again.
8. Poison Bottle: An aged bottle. The label is still somewhat readable, with the words “MERCURY BICHLORIDE, CORROSIVE SUBLIMATE” visible.
9. Poison Bottle: An aged bottle. The label is still somewhat readable, with the words “MERCURY BICHLORIDE, CORROSIVE SUBLIMATE” visible.
10. Syringe: It doesn’t come with anything else, but then again… You can just inject air into someone to kill them! How handy.
11. Pinata: A rat-shaped pinata. The inside is already filled with candy. Stress relief and sugary sweetness in one gift.
12. Trading Card: Nyanko-sensei, Prospect of Family - “SAKE! SAKE! SAKE!”
13. Trading Card: Kayneth El-Melloi Archibald, Prospect of Magic - “TO MY BEAUTIFUL BELOVED, YOUR EYES GLISTEN LIKE THE MORNING DEW…”
14. Trading Card: Detective Pikachu, Prospect Coffee Connoisseur - “TELL YOUR BUDDY TO BE THE VERY BEST, LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS.”
15. Trading Card: Detective Pikachu, Prospect Coffee Connoisseur - “TELL YOUR BUDDY TO BE THE VERY BEST, LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS.”
16. Scented Marker: Don’t sniff these too much, or you’ll end up with a headache. This one smells like lavender.
17. Scented Marker: Don’t sniff these too much, or you’ll end up with a headache. This one smells like honey.
18. Glue stick: It’s purple glue, not the clear kind.
19. Mechanical Pencil: It’s a Dr. Grip! You shake the pencil to make the led come out. Convenient, right?
20. Composition book: Wide-ruled, 100 sheets. Just in case you didn’t like the Word Processor on your tablet.
21. X-Acto Knife: Cut more accurately with this handy dandy X-Acto knife!
22. Plush St. Bernard: An adorable St. Bernard puppy of your very own! His tag reads "Sumo." Don't worry, this one doesn't weigh 180lbs.
23. Eden Club Ad - An advertisement for an android sex club. That's someone's kink.
24. Reeking Box: A small, wooden box with a truly vile stench coming from within. Better not open it.
25. O’Douls - Near beer for the alcoholic who can’t quite quite cold turkey! That or the person with really weird taste in beer.
26. Natty Light - CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!
27. Natty Light - CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!
28. Cabo Wabo Tequila - For drunken antics and hangovers that party hard for the next three days, there’s nothing like Cabo Wabo.
29. Beer Flavored Sodas - I mean. Close enough, right? Am I right, all my under 21s?
30. Four Loko - When you need to make bad decisions in a hurry, four loko’s got you covered.
31. Four Loko - When you need to make bad decisions in a hurry, four loko’s got you covered.
32. “Do Not Disturb” Sign: Hang this on your doorknob if you don’t want anyone to bother you. It’s light blue and fuzzy!